My days as a coffee shop whore are finally over. Don't worry - it's a self-inflicted term of endearment, given my six-week search for THE ONE at coffee shops across the Twin Cities. Ever since I left corporate America to "work from home," I've been looking for the perfect coffee shop to call my home. I've had meaningless, one-day stands with baristas all over town in search of my new workplace. Was I trying too hard? Was I getting a reputation for my promiscuity? I began losing hope.
My requirements for the coffee house of my dreams didn't seem unreasonable. Free, unlimited WIFI (wireless access). Yummy coffee. Electrical outlets (for the laptop). Friendly staff. Cool tunes. Good energy. Tasty treats (lunch selections a bonus).
The chain shops left me feeling used and abused. At Caribou, you have to get an access code at the counter every hour or your Internet access goes away. What a hassle! And at a Starbucks on Franklin Ave in Mpls, I had to pay $6 for one hour of WIFI! The wireless access is free and clear at Dunn Bros, but I'm not a huge fan of the coffee...or, quite honestly, the too-cool-for-the-room staff members at many locations. (However, I do love the Dunn Bros. on University Ave across from FM107.1's worldwide headquarters)
So, I turned my attention to the independents. Many are great for a quickie, but the WIFI often seemed spotty and I'd frequently lose my connection. Or they were sometimes so empty I actually felt odd being the only patron in the place. Muddy Waters on Lyndale is a great spot - I try to get there once a week, but I'm easily distracted by the fabulous people watching and loud music (which means little work gets done).
I started to re-think search, wondering if I might just be happier at my real home. But then, it happened: my bookkeeper suggested we meet at a little coffee shop in the Bryn Mawr neighborhood. Been to that corner of the world many times, but for whatever reason, I'd never been inside the coffee house. Isn't that the way true love so often finds you, staring you right in the eyes when you're looking elsewhere!? We had our meeting and I was enchanted by the place. But I knew I needed to experience it on my own, to sit there for a few hours alone - a second date, if you will.
So, I went last week and I'm telling you, it was like coming home. The people were so upbeat, the coffee was good, the food was great (they SERVED me a huge homemade tuna sandwich with chips and a pickle - delish!), the WIFI was free, the outlets were accessible, the music was awesome, the decor was funky. Be still my heart! And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, a guy named Tony - obviously a regular there - poked his head in the door and told everyone he'd just turned in a lottery ticket worth $5.4 million! The barista ran around the counter to give him a hug and everybody cheered.
My heart swelled, my cheeks hurt from smiling. I had found my home away from home. It doesn't mean I won't visit others - a girl needs variety, after all. But I've found my home base - where my computer can roam free and I can let the real me just be. Nirvana.
As sick as it may sound, I think we Americans actually crave tragedies like last weeks bridge collapse. Despite the loss and despair they create, I think we all find comfort in the sense of community that emerges during a crisis.
Whenever tragedy strikes, we seek out others – to compare notes, to lend a helping hand, to share our grief. We are inspired by the stories of good Samaritans sacrificing their own safety to save the lives of others. We are motivated to help in a time of need by giving blood, praying for grieving families, donating to the Red Cross. We slow down a little – taking time to chat with co-workers, hugging our kids a little longer, checking in with friends and family. After a tragedy, we become kinder and gentler people, reminded how precious and fleeting this life really is.
In the hours following the bridge collapse, I received voice mails and emails from friends and family in seven states. It lifted my spirits to know those people cared enough to check on my well-being, to tell me that they loved me. But several apologized for not being in touch for so many months, for waiting until a crisis to connect. I completely understood. Had this happened in their hometowns, I would have been making the same apology to them.
It feels good to be connected, to feel part of the larger community, to stop and smell the roses. And yet, within weeks of any tragedy, we tend to slip right back into our old hurried, frenzied lives. We quickly give in to old habits, barely finding time for making a family supper let alone connecting with relatives a few states away. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to feel. Until, that is, tragedy strikes.
From 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina to the 35W bridge collapse, the grief and uncertainty we all experience during a tragedy alters our perspectives and priorities. Its like a free pass to slow down, take stock and reach out – just long enough to recharge our batteries, to revive our hearts. But it is a vicious cycle. Eventually, we will return to our old ways only to start secretly craving deeper, more meaningful connections again.
I want so much to believe that this time will be different, that this sense of community will not be a fleeting fad. I am hoping this time people will deepen and strengthen their friendships and family ties, that people will re-prioritize their daily lives, that kindness will continue to grow by leaps and bounds.
We Minnesotans have a chance to set an amazing example for the rest of the nation. Could we find a way to make strong communities and unconditional kindness permanent priorities? Could we make sure that those who lost their lives so suddenly last week inspire us to live our own lives to the fullest…for the rest of our lives? I think we can do it.
Gandhi once said: BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
So, Minnesota - the world is still watching. Want to change for good? Me, too.
I have a friend who has spent over 25 years working for the same company. Having spent so much of her life there, she has made sure to do what she can to keep learning and growing and feeling fulfilled.
I wonder if “lifers” like her would ever put as much effort into being “dreamers.”After all, studies show we each spend 25 years of our life conked out, fast asleep. That is a ton of time! Sleep is a powerful force in our lives, but most people tend to dismiss it. Many figure those hours we spend asleep are little more than wasted time, just physically necessary for our bodies to recharge. However, dream researchers and interpreters (yes, you can actually get a degree in dream work!) maintain that it is no mistake we spend so much of our lives asleep. They say dreams are a powerful tool for working through problems and receiving important messages about your life. But most people dont know how to use their dreams to their advantage and haven not taken the time to learn.
On a recent Get Real Girls show about the power of sleep and dreams, our Get Real Girl of the Week was Sheila Asato, who received her Masters degree in dream work last year. When her son was young, he was diagnosed with autism. Living in Japan at the time, she spent every waking moment trying to figure out how to help and communicate with him. It was a huge struggle. She told us about her daily trips to the market with him, where he would scream and cry because of the bright lights and other triggers. She was at her wits end – until she started recognizing that solutions were not coming to her in those countless waking hours when she felt so helpless, but rather in her sleeping moments – in her dreams.
She began noticing that in her dreams, her hands turned into tiger paws. She would see the tiger paws doing things that could and would help her son. For instance, she began seeing the tiger paws working in mounds of sand. She didn’t understand what that meant until one day, before going into the market with her son, he started screaming again. Bewildered and exhausted, Sheila sat down on the sidewalk and started crying. Suddenly, her son discovered a pile of sand next to the store and calmed down as he ran the sand through his fingers. He played in the sand for a full hour and when he was done, they went into the store and he was perfectly fine. Sheila realized her dream had been telling her to use sand to comfort her son, so she started filling baggies with sand that he could hold during outings. It worked like magic and it gave her the confidence to start believing the messages and symbols that were coming to her in dreams.
I recently went through a stressful situation and found it kept popping up in my dreams. I thought I would be able to stop thinking about it when I went to sleep, but my mind and spirit obviously had a different idea. I was getting tired of having the stress following me into my sleep! That is, until the night I dreamt about it again and suddenly saw myself in the stressful situation but floating in a bubble, rising higher and higher, away from the negativity on the ground. An overwhelming calm come over me and the situation solved itself. When I woke up, I no longer felt stressed. I really believed my dream had shown me everything would be okay, that I would find a way out of the murkiness.
I think if a dream sticks with you, meaning you remember it throughout the day or even longer, it clearly came to you for a reason. The hard part is figuring out the message. We have to examine our feelings, what’s going on in our life, and the symbolism in our dreams. There are lots of resources out there if you need a little guidance (for starters, check out some of them in our past show notes at the Get Real Girls page). You are going to spend more than two decades of your life dreaming, so you might as well make the most of your time. Sweet dreams!
Why is everybody dying to take a vacation? Because vacations bring us back to life.
Later this week, my family will take our annual week up north to our friends’ lake place. My husband has declared it his favorite time of the year, better than his birthday, Christmas or any other holiday. He, along with the rest of the crew, feels so tired and burnt out, a few days of doing absolutely nothing each year sound like pure bliss.
I am excited too, but also struck by the realization that this is no way to live – and yet everybody’s doing it. We are a nation of stressed-out, burnt-out, fed up people craving relaxation and rejuvenation. Taking a vacation is our only strategy for getting away from it all.
Have you ever gone on vacation only to find it takes you several days to truly unwind? By the time the trip is over, you are just starting to feel relaxed. So frustrating! We are so used to being “on” all the time – accessible to anyone and everyone through cell phones, email, PDAs – that we don’t even know how to switch ourselves to the “off” position. We are always on the go, go, go!
We all know people who love to describe how incredibly busy they are, as if it’s a competition. It is easy to get sucked in. And, eventually, every person is bound to break under the pressure. I think that constant need to feel productive is driving us all crazy, quite literally. It causes us to snap at strangers, honk in traffic, lash out at family or friends, become forgetful or unmotivated at work, and the list goes on. No wonder we crave an escape!
Theres little hope right now for extended vacation policies at companies across America, so we are going to have to take this issue into our own hands. I really, truly believe we need to start committing to taking personal mini-vacations in order to restore our sanity, to rediscover kindness, to get in touch our authentic selves.
You dont even have to pack a suitcase. Schedule at least 30 minutes every 2-3 days that are reserved for just you. And here’s the kicker: no distractions. No TV, no radio (even FM107.1!) no CDs, magazines, movies, books – nada. The point is for you to take a vacation with…you. Go for a walk, meditate, sip lemonade on your front stoop, watch the sunrise or sunset. This might mean waking up before the rest of the family, going to bed later – maybe even occasionally getting a babysitter to make it happen.
Try it for a week. Then try for two weeks. Remember, practice makes perfect. Note any shift in your attitude and energy along the way. I’m willing to bet you willl start feeling more alive, more in tune with yourself – and less likely to be dying for a vacation. Enjoy the journey!
I may seem calm and collected, like I've got my act together. But here's the truth. There is one place you are sure to see me lose my mind: at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am a loyal girl - fiercely loyal to my friends, my family and to the band I first fell in love with at age 13. I admit my obsession didn't start as music appreciation - I simply wanted to be the next Mrs. Jon Bon Jovi.
But as the years rolled on, I came to realize that Bon Jovi's music was becoming the soundtrack to my life. Many of their songs are about pushing through the hard stuff and believing in your dreams. It got me through some hard times as a teen, and it seemed like their music was evolving as I did. Even their latest album, Lost Highway, seems like it was written for me! And I know other fans feel that way - which I think is the measure of an amazing band. They can sell albums to millions of people but make you feel like it was made for you. Oh, and the fact that Jon is still hot as hell certainly doesn't hurt. I no longer doodle "Mrs. Bon Jovi" like I did in 8th grade, but if Bon Jovi is in town, I am there. I think I've been to every concert here since the late 80s.
I am sure some would call it pathetic, but I think passionate is a better description. Anything that makes you FEEL and LOVE and DANCE is a good thing, right? So, yesterday I created the first celeb fan group on this site for any and all Bon Jovi Nerds! Whether you just like one song or you've got a JBJ shrine in your bedroom, come join us and blog like a rock star!
