I did it! I got a new car! There is one little hiccup - I got the wrong one. I will get to that, but first, please allow me to celebrate my big feat for a moment. On a recent Get Real Girls show titled “Do It Yourself: How Not To Feel Helpless,” we each had to tackle a task that took us out of our comfort zones. Knowing I was ready to start looking for a new car – with my husband or my dad firmly planted by my side – the Girls challenged me to go to a dealership on my own.

I know, it does not sound like a very big deal. But it was to me! I’ve been successful in both communications and business but negotiating a deal on a car has always flipped me out. I was worried about facing down all of those creepy salesmen; they’re like vultures competing for a piece of meat when a potential customer walks through the door. And getting a car is a huge investment – not something you want to screw up! But I was not  going to let my Girls down, so I headed to my first dealership on my own. I kid you not – my stomach was doing flips.  

I walked in and, as I expected, a group of three sales guys were on me in two seconds flat. But I spotted Jeni – a tattooed redhead with a pierced nose – and knew right away she was the saleswoman for me! She was totally cool and tried to hide her surprise at my lack of knowledge on cars, payments, and everything in between. She put me at ease and encouraged me to look online to find cars I liked before talking price. That first meeting bolstered my confidence and over the next week, I visited at least 6 more dealerships and test drove at least that many vehicles. I started to see it as a fun project, comparing deals and vehicles. My husband joked that car shopping had suddenly become my full-time job!

Surprisingly, I actually met some really delightful and helpful salespeople along the way. And, in the end, I found my way back to Jeni, who was very patient with me and had an affordable vehicle that included everything I wanted. So, I signed the papers by myself, wrote out the check and drove away from the dealership in my shiny new Jeep yesterday.

Only problem: I got the wrong one.  As I was driving around town, I realized there were no buttons for the heated seats. Outside of getting a good price, there were two things I really wanted in my vehicle: a CD changer and heated seats. The Jeep I had test driven had both, but the vehicle I drove away in did not! The good news is that they’re having a different vehicle shipped in for me. But the even better news is that I caught the mistake quickly because I had been so invested in the process. Had I not been so involved in every aspect of getting this car, I probably would not have noticed the missing heated seats (at least not until winter!). I never would have handled this on my own without the urging of my fellow Get Real Girls to step outside my comfort zone – and it was a great experience.

Is there a task you avoided for a long time due to fear or lack of confidence? Let me know! I’d love to hear what you have done to expand your horizons and experience something new.

 

(To listen to the podcast of our recent show entitled "Do It Yourself: How Not to Feel Helpless," click here).

 

Why am I sitting here watching "Rock of Love" on VH1? I have now asked myself this question at least a dozen times, and yet it's still on my TV. I can't seem to bring myself to turn it off. For those of you unschooled on 80s rock, Bret Michaels was (and still is) the lead singer for glam rock group Poison. I admit it - back when Poison was red-hot, I was a big fan.

Now, after 20+ years of rocking hard and hooking up on the road, Bret says he's ready to stop the partying and find that one special someone...in a realty show house filled with 25 star-struck women. Seriously, Bret? Are you thinking the ditzy blond who got new boobs from her parents last year or the drunken redhead who routinely starts catfights is the woman of your dreams? For crying out loud, one of them just dubbed herself a "Jessica Simpson knock-off!" Does she even realize she just double-dissed herself? It's like watching Barbie dolls come to life: tiny waists, plastic parts, fake hair, blank stares, and one-syllable words spoken in high-pitched voices.

I sure hope the most "real" woman is the last one standing - someone who knows who she is, what she wants, how to stay true to herself and whether this guy is truly right for her. My heart just aches for so many of these women who clearly need to start loving themselves before they proclaim their die-hard love for someone else, much less a former rock star. Hey, I know self-discovery is a life-long journey, but it's pretty clear most of these women are still sitting at the bus stop looking at their newly painted nails. I would love to see the "rejects" get sent to another house that features a detox program, a team of life coaches, a library of self-help books and classic novels, and no access to make-up or bleach. Hmmm...kind of sounds like "Starting Over...for Groupies."

Maybe they could take a cue from Scott Baio (another 80s icon), who's also got his own show on VH1 - where he's working with a life coach! Hey, everybody wants to live their very best life - make it count while you're here, right? Alls I'm sayin' is I wish these women would stop playing the part of the dumb bombshell and get real. Once they do, they may not nab Bret Michaels, but I'm willing to bet they'll be a lot happier and fulfilled. Rock on, ladies.

Folks, we've got a listener here who could use your help. This morning on Get Real Girls, we spent two hours exploring worry (how do you keep it under control? is it ever productive? are you a self-proclaimed worry wart?) If you missed the show, be sure to listen to the podcast this week on the GRG page.

Here's an email we received from one listener, whom we'll call BJ. I really feel for her. When worry consumes your life, it rattles your self confidence and often clouds your judgment. If you have advice or words of support for BJ, here's your chance to share.  Thanks!     - Liv

Dear Get Real Girls,

I know that i have worried myself sick. I will give you a few instances and you can feel free to discuss them if you wish.

1) When my now ex-husband was having an affair.  I was trying to nurse our 9 month old daughter.  but due to the stress of his actions, i wasn't producing enough milk.  she ended up weighing the same at a year as she did at 9 months.  the worry also made me either vomit or have diarrhea.  The
only benefit was that i lost 30 lbs in about a month.  It was the first time I was close to my high school weight of 135 (which was still obese). unfortunately i have since gained that plus more......much much more.

2) Last year there was a leak in the wall behind my shower.  i didn't notice it until one day i was putting stuff away and stepped on wet carpet. where the leak was coming from was behind a dresser, so i didn't step in it until it had advanced from under the dresser.  The repair people came in,
but it took 4 days to dry out the carpet.  it smelled so bad that my daughters and i couldn't even go into that room, which is where we sleep.  I am a poor single parent who just had to file for bankruptcy (another reason to worry sick), so I didn't have the money to pay for repair or to be able to go somewhere.  I cried to my parents to help me pay for a hotel room so we
didn't have to stay in the mold.  Again, I ended up ill and had to stay home from work.  every hair on my head hurt, i could barely lift my body off the bed to get my kids to daycare.

3)I have been writing to the soldiers, through ANYSOLDIER.com, since 2003. mostly they were just letters of support and while i heard back from some, i haven't had the chance to meet anyone.  This past October, I started a
friendship with a gentleman from Alabama who was stationed with the MN Red Bulls national guard unit.  Over time our friendship became a little stronger that we decided once he came home we would meet.  I have told him all along that i was fat (OK, obese) and ugly and that he would be
frightened of my hideousness.   all along he said he would be the judge. while we each had pictures of each other, i figured the sleep deprivation, the stress of being in Iraq for 22 months and the sand storms, had led to a lack of judgment on his part that he found me attractive. So last week
when he finally returned to the US, i started panicking.  I had wanted to lose weight before he met me, especially so i wouldn't outweigh him.  there wasn't anything i could do about the ugly, but i thought i could at least lose 10 lbs.  (I was hoping for 40, but that didn't happen either).  Due to Army red tape and other issues, it was looking like I wasn't going to
meet him.  Thursday night I "worried myself sick".  I cried, had dry heaves, had more diarrhea.  I was thoroughly convinced that he finally came to his senses and didn't want to meet me.  In the end, it did work out that we had a chance to meet, and his eyeballs weren't sucked out at the shock of my
grossness.

In these cases did I really have to worry myself sick? probably not. Does it just happen?  I really believe it does.  At least for me it does.  It starts off as something I have no control over, and then I start trying to figure out how to get that control to handle the situation.  Most of the time since I am a single parent, I do have things together.  But when it is so  overwhelming, I get ill.  When it is over, I do feel stupid for
worrying....well at least with the soldier, I feel a little stupid.
So hope this adds some fodder to your conversation.

- BJ

I'm excited to start sharing behind-the-scenes scoop from Get Real Girls with you...but in order to do it I have to jump into the current century and figure out how to use the technology! Wish me luck - it's a new frontier!