Youve got to love him, his gaffes are hilarious.

Only a few years ago he asked some Aborigines if they still threw spears at each other.

His latest gaffe..

The Duke of Edinburgh joked with Barack Obama that the world leaders gathering in London for the G20 summit all look alike.

OK once again as cigarettes shot up in price to now $5.16 following the increase in tax, I decided to quit smoking.

So far so good, I'm on day 4 with minimal help from using Commit nicotine lozenges.

Which wouldn't be so bad, however my main gripe is the cost of these things.

$64.99 for 108 lozenges?

or I could by 12 packs or 240 cigarettes for the same price.

Why if people are being encouraged to quit smoking that the alternatives are more expensive than the actual cigarettes?

If I still lived in England, I could buy the same for £8.49 or $11.91 on the current exchange rate where a packet of cigarettes costs approximately  £5.62 or $7.88 on the exchange rate.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Well I didn't realise that placing a bumper sticker depicting the Union flag on my car would provoke the reaction it did.

As I sat waiting at the lights, a.. well not so elderly driver drew alongside me in the other lane.

I guess he was in his late 50s early 60s.

He wound down his window, and began yelling several things in my direction. As my passenger window was up, I leant over to wind it down to find out what he was yelling about. At first I assumed I had a brake light out or something that he was drawing my attention to.

Over the noise of the other vehicles, I could make out words like "goddam british flag" and "unpatriotic" followed by several obscenities. I smiled, waved to him and wound my window back up.

As he was driving away from the lights, I held back from him and could clearly see on the back of his Suburu a bumper sticker ordering me to "Buy American"

I enjoy living here, but at the same time I also know what country I'm currently in and as the American flag is being flown from flagpoles outside several houses in my street alone, not to mention outside the local Perkins, trailor home sales place, post office, Cub, Home Depot that I can rest assured that I haven't driven too far North and ended up in Canada by accident.

I guess if I put an American flag bumper sticker on my car, then at least those damn Commies or the terrorists won't get to me.

1. Do you like filling out surveys or quizzes?  I don't mind

2. What are you scared of?  Haven't really thought of it

3. What gives you Goose Bumps?  Having the back of my neck stroked

4. What's your favorite drink at Caribou or other specialty coffee shop?  just a regular hot chocolate

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?  No

6. What do you think of hot dogs?  Don't eat them

7. Favorite Christmas song?  I don't have a favourite one

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?  Coffee

9. Can you do push ups?  Yes, but don't do them very often

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?  Don't wear any, not even a watch

11. Favorite hobby?  Reading biographies and flying light aircraft when I have the money

12. Do you have A.D.D.?  Let's ride bikes!

13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?  My nose

14. Middle name?  John

17. Current worry right now?  Money. 

18. Current hate right now?  Over road users

19. Favorite place to be?  England

20. How did you bring in the New Year?  It's different every year. 

22. Name three people who will complete this?  Probably half the people on the site

23. Do you own slippers?  Yes

24. What color shirt are you wearing?  Black t-shirt

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?  No

26. Can you whistle?  Yes

27. Favorite color? Turquoise

28. Would you be a pirate?  Nah

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?  I don't sing in the shower

32. What's in your pocket right now?   My handkerchief

33. Last thing that made you laugh?  My 2yr old daughter when she patted me on the back during dinner and said "you'll be ok"

34. Best bed sheets as a child?  Don't remember

35. Worst injury you've ever had? 2 broken ribs when I fell off a motorbike when I was 17

36. Do you love where you live?  It's ok

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?  3

38. Who is your loudest friend?  a co-worker of mine

40. Does someone have a crush on you? yes, but not telling

41. What is your favorite book?  How to talk dirty and influence people - Lenny Bruce

42. What is your favorite candy?  I don't really eat candy

43. Favorite Sports Team?  I don't like sports

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night?  Splitting up a recording of a concert by The Wedding Present - November 22nd 1987

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?  Sh!t. I overslept