Dear Diary,

The Get Real Girls will talk about breaking habits Saturday morning and since our meeting yesterday, I can't stop thinking about my bad habit.

My name is Alexis and I'm a fingernail biter.

That's how it feels -- like I should be in some kind of support group that helps kick the habit!

I do it without thinking most of the time.  Yet I'm ashamed because I wonder WHY I can't control myself.

The pendulum of nail biting swings from pretty, normal length nails to painfully short ones.  Where it lies depends on what's going on in my life.  But of course, in the moment, I don't realize how events/emotions are affecting me.

When my nails are super short, I hide them; it's embarrassing. And when they're long, I paint them and obsessively try to keep them chip free, dirt free, sharp edge free and all the same length.

I've tried many things from ill tasting nail polish to acrylic tips; these work for a while...

So post-meeting yesterday, I went into research mode and starting looking for info online.  There's a first-of-its-kind, 4 week clinic devoted to helping nail biters opening in Venlo, Netherlands. 

Apparently, I'm not alone.  It's estimated that there are 600 million plus pathological nail biters worldwide! 

I also learned that it is considered an obsessive-compulsive disorder known as body-focused repetitive behaviors (some others: hair pulling, skin picking or incessantly biting the inside of the cheek).

For the trial patients, the program was 98 percent successful; they wore a special device that allowed them to move normally, but they couldn't bite their nails.  At the same time, they receive therapy and counseling sessions. 

I don't think I'm in need of that, when I bite them, they are short, but not malformed or so short that I can't do what I need to do.  They're definitely not pretty though.  Most importantly, it's a gross habit.

I'm excited to see what the experts will advise on Saturday morning (8-10).  I'm hoping that they will say that owning up to your bad habit and being willing to share it with others (say in a blog..........) is half the battle :)

Love,

Princess

Dear Diary,

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry.

I should have posted this weeks ago.

But I figure it's better late than never...

So here's the recipe for Filipino Chicken Adobo -- (my mama's version); I made it for Kevyn and her family (luckily they loved it --whew), it's a favorite in my family and great for the Fall. 

I'm ALSO posting this in a forum in Kevyn's Recipe Swap group (in the Food, Drink & Wine category)-- a little plug for a group you should join if you haven't :)

So here's what you need:

1. Family pack of chicken (you can also use ox tails or pork) -- with or without bones -- if you want a rich taste keep the bones and skin on, you don't have to eat the skin
2. 2 cups of white vinegar
3. 1 cup of water
4. 1/2 bulb of garlic, minced
5. 1 Tbs of whole black peppercorns
6. 2 bay leaves
7. 2 Tbs soy sauce (depends on taste, you might want to add more or less -- you can adjust this when it simmers)
8. 2 - 2-3 inch length slivers of ginger
9. 2 1/2 Tbs of paprika

Marinate items 1-8 for a least an hour preferably overnight

(I've NOT marinated before -- the flavor doesn't go all the way through, so I just poured some of the sauce on it and it tasted great)

Brown the meat in a pan with 2 Tbs of oil (I used canola) WITHOUT the marinade

Then pour in the marinade and let it simmer on medium high heat for 45 minutes to one hour

If needed, add 1/2 cup of water or vinegar (makes it more tangy) to keep the same amount of liquid in the pan as the meat continues to cook

When the meat is tender, reduce the heat and add 2 1/2 Tbs of paprika and it will absorb about half the liquid, leaving a tasty sauce that's great over white rice.

Don't eat the bay leaves and avoid the black peppercorns (unless you like the black pepper intense bite)

Let me know what you think and if you have any questions!

Enjoy, love,

Princess

Dear Diary,

I have a girlfriend who wants to break up with a guy friend (nothing romantic) and he's not catching on that she's avoiding him.  She says they have a one-sided friendship; he pretty much unloads all his issues, but doesn't listen to her when she needs to vent.  She's also exhausted after every conversation.

So is this really a friendship?  I've been really grappling with what to tell her.  We tackled it on air Wednesday and I've come to the conclusion that she should talk to him.

It sounds so simple, but most of the callers agreed.  I hope  Liz doesn't mind me sharing what she sent me in a private email message.  (And it's after 1 am -- too late to ask permission, so I figure I'll apologize later ).  I don't think I could have said it better, she writes:

"When I need to resolve situations like that, I try to put myself into the equation.  What would I want if my friend thought I wasn't being a very good friend?  To me, that's simple.  I'd want them to tell me.  Sand and I have this understanding: If I'm doing something she doesn't like and she doesn't tell me, why would I stop doing it?  Your friend has an opportunity to help her friend experience some personal growth and thereby, become a better person and friend."

Liz continues:

"Now, your friend also has to own her part in this because people treat you how you allow them to treat you.  Vineeta (Sawkar, she was in the studio with Kevyn on Wednesday) mentioned her dislike for confrontation.  It's all in the attitude you take to the situation.  We try to view this type of thing as "conflict resolution."

"People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes it is a short-lived reason and that's okay.  Other times people enter for a lifetime and that's okay.  We just need to value and respect the person and the gifts they bring to our lives.  And, hopefully, what we bring to their lives.

"And one more thing to factor in is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.  Don't remember who said this but someone said something along the lines of "A person is indeed lucky to have two friends in their life and one of them they should be married to." Quality over quantity.  And the only true foundation for friendship is honesty.  Not only speaking it, but wanting to hear it."

Liz, I think you should consider looking into becoming a counselor or life coach.  You really got me thinking -- brought me back to middle school when I first realized that some friendships end abruptly.

There's a mourning period after the "break up," if there is one -- most just faded away.   I definitely agree with the quality over quantity point.  I've got 5 good friends; 3 of them I don't even talk to on a regular basis, but I know that when we do, it's as if time and distance hasn't changed a thing. 

And the "people treat you how you allow them to treat you" part reaches much further than relationships between friends. 

Thanks for your thoughful message Liz; I hope you don't mind me sharing it with others.  

I going to try to get some zzz's again.  When you can't sleep, blog!

Love,

Princess

Dear Diary,

I'm a dork!  Aren't we all?  Could this premise win an election?  Can you imagine some unknown charging into the presidential election proclaiming he/she is a huge dork and proud of it!

I'd be intrigued.  And then he/she follows it up with, "We're all dorks -- why should our president who represents everyone, be a member of the smallest percentage of people -- the wealthiest?" 

That's pretty much the premise of a new movie I saw tonight -- Sydney White.  But replace the wealthiest people with members of the Greek community on campus.  This is probably not the exact take away the makers were looking for...

But in the end, good prevails and the too skinny, bitchy sorority president/former student council president stomps off leaving the others to bask in their dorkiness.  And in a heartfelt (and pathetic as the same time) point in the movie, they feel the need to stand up and declare how dorky they are to each other.

The adorable and fully developed Amanda Bynes stars in the movie.  I remember her goofing around on Nickelodean's All That which also starred Kenan Thompson (now on SNL).  She's all grown up and really needs to lay off the self tanner.  Wow!  And if it's possible for me to be even more petty, what's going on with her ponytails?  Having a few wispies framing the face is cute, but chunks of hair?  I guess the point of having a ponytail is not to pull the hair out of your face anymore...

Check out the full out chunky wispies: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0815244/Ss/0815244/SWCVNS_D005_00540_S.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0815244.

Am I crazy for thinking this is weird?  Am I having a phogie moment?

In Sydney White (it opens in theaters on Sept 21), Sydney and 6 other "dorks" take a stab at running for the student council.  They take on the group who has been in power forever: the sorority girls and fraternity brothers. The movie's completely predictable, but it has funny physical comedy moments.  It also offers plenty of eye candy too.  Case and point: the Prince Charming frat boy Tyler played by Matt Long.  He's the cute, nice frat guy...ohhhh.  

Anyway, it was a nice escape from reality for a while.  When we left the theater, it was raining hard.  There were a lot people waiting it out.  We didn't want to, so I shoved my purse in my shirt and we dashed for the car.  In a few seconds, we were completely soaked.  So I let loose, stomped in a few puddles and twirled a bit.  What fun and freeing it is to let go once in a while. 

Love,

Princess

Dear Diary,

OMG!  My pick to win Top Chef on the Bravo Network packed his knives tonight.  Who am I going to root for now?

Bye Tre, you can cook for me anyday,

Love,

Princess