Wow! Just watched Comedy Central's Roast of Flavor Flav and it was pretty funny and brutal!
Roasters Snoop Dogg, Lisa Lampanelli, Ice T, Patton Oswalt, Jimmy Kimmel, Carrot Top, Greg Giraldo and Roast Master Katt Williams made fun of Flav's clock necklaces, how many kids he has, how he started off as a political rapper and now is a reality show "whore" and his yeeeeeeeeah booooooys.
He was a good sport about it all. But I feel bad for Carrot Top -- the frizzy red headed comedian who makes his own props. It's also pretty obvious that he's joined the Knifestyles of the Rich and Famous crowd. His face looks tighter and odd.
The first roaster, Greg Girald, said he looks "retarded," and asked him if his plastic surgeon gave him an extra chromosome. Katt Williams said that he's what would result if "Ronald McDonald f'd Wendy" (okay, that was kind of funny). Most of the jokes about him were related to his plastic surgery and how muscular he is now.
After all the previous roasters ripped Carrot Top a new one, he tried to get up there and rip on them. He tanked. At first he didn't use his props, just notes. When he started using the props, he got a little better. At one point, he jokingly said he wished he was as "f'd up as Snoop Dogg" and I couldn't help but believe him!
What was Carrot Top doing there? Who told him that was a good idea? And why wasn't he prepared and have kick ass jokes?
After the first few roasters cracked jokes about him, he just sit there staring blankly -- hiding behind that curly mess (is that hair real?) and new face.
He did put himself in the position to get blasted by the others, like they did. That's the point of a roast. But unlike the others, he didn't seem to brush off the jokes/insults as easily. Brutal, bold, in-your-face comedy isn't his style; I hope he's okay.
I love Sun Country Airlines. I've flown with them 3 times -- to Cancun for the Girlfriend Getaway in April, to NYC to go to the Gracie Awards in June, and just last weekend to San Francisco. I wasn't going to go on the family vacation at all (they are still there, they keep rubbing it in...). I just didn't think I could go with work and everything that's going on. So just last Thursday, I went online to find a ticket (mind you, I was searching for a ticket to fly in just 2 days). All the other airlines were easily more than $1,000, but not Sun Country, I got my ticket for $377! The other thing, they fed me! When the flight attendant announced that they would be passing out cheeseburgers during the flight, a couple dozen people sighed in unison.
On my way back, I realized that I bought the wrong return flight. I thought I was buying a ticket to return at noon, but it was 12:05 am (so essentially the night before)! I asked the guy if he could change it. After a few clicks on the keyboard, no problemo! I reached for my wallet, fully expecting to pay a fee for my stupidity -- but no! No fee! Also, the crew was happy and smiling!
You can't go wrong with that.
Another joy in my life: salad spritzer. Since I don't like my salads drenched with dressing, it's perfect. I've got 4 of the flavors. They taste good and each spray has only 1 to 2 calories. Sometimes I take a bite out of a cucumber and spray the dressing right in my mouth (don't tell Mom). And since I'm watching what I eat and following the Inches-A-Weigh program, I can spray liberally. (BTW, I'm down 9 pounds and lots of inches all over; Kevyn keeps looking at my booty and saying it's smaller). I'm literally Inches-A-Weigh from fitting into my inspiration dress.
Kevyn's new theme song is called Never Be Alone by Justice. They remixed the song originally recorded by Simian. Some people love it, some not so much. It definitely gets stuck in my head.
Here's the music video showing some of the things drunk people do to passed-out drunk people:
The I-35W bridge crossing the Mississippi River collapsed last night at 6:05.
Dozens of cars plummeted into the river more than 60 feet! Right now, at least 79 people have been injured and four have died.
And this is just the beginning of the list. Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan said cars are still trapped beneath the water some containing people (20-30 people missing).Authorities are saying the bridge was "structurally deficient."
I’ve been thinking a lot about falling lately.
Two days ago, I was working out on an elliptical.With sweat falling from my brow and Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’ blaring in the background, I caught an article in Home and Garden (March 2007 issue) about a photographer named Neeta Madahar.The writer, Caroline Cunningham, highlighted Madahar’s new series called Falling.It’s a beautiful collection of different seeds falling, for example, maple seeds unpredictably spinning to the ground.
I started to think about all the ways we use "fall"” to describe good and bad: falling in (or out of) love, falling into (or out of) luck, fall apart, fall back (spring forward), fall asleep, fall down, fall behind, fall to our knees, fall out of bed...
Cunningham wrote, "Madahar’s series Falling explores associations of falling -- the joy, the sense of abandon, and the undertow of uncertainty."
The undertow of uncertainty.I love this description.
We are there right now.We know a lot, but not enough.How could this happen?Are other bridges safe? Do we want to drive over a bridge again? How do we talk about this with kids?
We work so hard to not fall, to not fail. So much fell yesterday and not just concrete and steel: our confidence in our public safety, our sense of control, our sense of security, our innocence...the list goes on.
At the same time, we know that in the face of tragedy, heroes rise up to serve others.
I remember as a kid, when I'd fall off my bike, I was told to shake it off.Because this tragedy was avoidable, it is hard to shake...it's unshakeable.
Grandma Amaryllys is 80! There's nothing like a big birthday celebration to get my priorities back in check. We went to Uncle (really, Great Uncle) Lyle's on Cormorant Lake. It was beautiful, even if I was a couple hours late -- I was directionally challenged...
Besides that, it was great seeing my family -- members of different generations spending time together. I went tubing with cousins (which was more like tubing bumper cars). I'm sure feeling the pain now; I fell three times.
We also played Pinochole (my favorite!). I love it because there are so many people who love to play; I'm usually the weird one begging my siblings to play with me. Dana (my eight-year-old cousin) sat next to me. She sorted my cards, while learning how to play, and was working on a knotted hemp necklace. She used my toe to hold the strings in place. My second cousin Katie and I reminsced about our first time playing Pinochole; we took on my dad and Uncle Lyle and smoked 'em. I still believe it wasn't beginner's luck! We're good!
Then I sat next to Grandma. We started talking about the skits I missed (being late and all) and how much fun we were having. She said, "Alexis, I just want you to be happy. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." She told me how proud she is of me and how happy she was the day I was born because she was FINALLY a grandma. She said she brought pictures and chocolates to her office when she got back from her visit (we lived in California). A few months later when we visited, she said she took me around to show everyone.
It's amazing how she said exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like I've been a bad granddaughter. I haven't taken the time to write, call, or even visit her. I'm averaging about 1-2 times a month now. I communicated with her more when I lived in another country!
I'm going to take the time to connect with Grandma and my extended family more not because I feel like I have to, but because I need to.
