| 2 years ago :: Oct 01, 2007 - 5:56AM #1 | |
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Being a stay at home mom was the hardest job I ever did. I did end up working very part time when my kids were younger, but as a nurse, that allowed my husband to be more involved with the kids than he would have been otherwise. I couldn't imagine having my kids in fulltime daycare. Part-time was hard enough on them. Good for you! |
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| 2 years ago :: Oct 01, 2007 - 8:47AM #2 | |
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You should join our group... the stay at home moms (and dads). I'm home and I've got a lot to say about being home but I'll stick with the financial stuff for the sake of your comment. You're RIGHT there is HUGE value in personally raising our children. We definately have a different lifestyle from working parents, but I say one of the gifts i'm giving my kids is a gift of creativity, and how to work with very little money. For example, we have a coffee can filled with change that we keep in the car for garage sales; it's a treasure hunt, really, all summer long. We make a lot of stuff... like birthday invitations and games, and we cook a lot of homemade food. When we looked around sadly at the lack of halloween decor in our house last week, we made some with construction paper and sequence. We have bags of second-hand clothes in our storage area and when my kids outgrow their clothes we go through the bags and it's like Christmas. On the flip side, I think it sucks that our working-parents neighbors have a camper and get to go on vacations to warm spots in the winter. I can't even imagine what saving for college must feel like, and I could sure use some expensive pampering and a shopping spree but.... maybe when I get back to work when my kids are in school. It is hard to be home on so many levels, but I feel like it's my responsibility to be raising these little people. They are the center of my life, and they deserve to be. They deserve someone who knows every inch of them, inside and out, and who is constantly listening to their lives. I have to believe that this is important work in the world.
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| 2 years ago :: Oct 01, 2007 - 11:19AM #3 | |
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This is the 3rd time that I have started to respond on this, so I have had some time to mull over what you are really talking about and what I really want to say. 1st - I have only been a stay at home for 2 years (almost?) and I do have a really hard time coming to grips with the fact that I do not bring any money into the house. I have worked outside of the home since the 14 year old was born and it is difficult to change that role 2nd - We have talked about my returning to work in the past 2 years and for our family it would actually hurt us more financially at this point than help us. It would bring our income up to the next tax bracket, meaning that we would qualify for less of the tax breaks than we qualify for now. We would probably have to pay out about 1/2 of my salary towards daycare for the children. Also, when my husband is offered overtime he makes more than I can earn. So, when I was working (salaried) and couldn't leave on time & he had overtime available, but could not take it 'cause he had to pick the kids up, we lost money. We are still learning how to change our lifestyles to better fit a one-income family. We actually eat out more now than when I was working outside of the house, but we eat more homemade meals than most of the families I know regardless! Recently, I thought that I was really going to go back to work - that I needed to. So I started prepping the kids. My 14 year old actually expressed it best by telling me, "OK, but ya know - it's gonna be really crazy again. I just don't think it's worth it, but if that's what you need to do." When I told them that, no - I would not be going back to the workforce she actually told me that she likes having somebody home when she gets off the bus and appreciates the fact that she isn't the one that has to be there for her younger siblings when they get off the bus and start figuring out what they'll eat for dinner. (Not that she fed them every day, but you know how it goes!) SO, I think that it depends on the family situation and what each parent is looking for as far as what having a stay at home is "worth". For us, it is working right now. |
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| 2 years ago :: Oct 01, 2007 - 2:16PM #4 | |
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I work 5 hours a day at 1 job and 8 hour a week at another and have 3 kids, a house and dog and cat. I love being with my children, but I can't stay home. Luckily we have a 13,11 and 1 year old so our daycare costs are much less. Still for the price that we were paying, we could have being paying my student loans and not keep putting them in deferment. My husband also lost his job in this time. I work because he doesn't, nor has ever, have a job that offers benefits. We are using family 2 days a week and he does 2 days a week and we have a grandma the other day. He works evenings and i work days and it sucks. I miss my husband and have put on 15 pounds since we did this. It is tough to be at home, tough to work and tough to do all. I bet that you are a great mom and love being home for your children. The school really appreicates volunteers as well. Of course I did that as well, in trying to be a part of everything. I think that the money number for stay at home mom is around $214,000 a year. Take that, us poor working people!
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| 2 years ago :: Dec 06, 2007 - 11:30PM #5 | |
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HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR. WHAT YOU DO IS VALUABLE! IT ONLY HAS MEASURE BY YOUR STANDARDS, VALUES AND NEEDS. VALIDATE YOURSELF. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT UNDERVALUES CHILDCARE AND ELDERLY CARE. IF WE COULD SOME HOW PUT OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCES TOGETHER. THAT WOULD BE EXTREMELY HELPFUL AND BENEFIT OUR SOCIETY. I HAVE STAY AT HOME STORIES. IF YOU'D LIKE, I CAN SHARE THEM. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. RESPECTFULLY, ANNE FINDLEY |
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| 2 years ago :: Dec 07, 2007 - 3:44PM #6 | |
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I just revisited this again. Somedays I want to stay at home with my teens and my toddler, others not so much. I am sure that others feel this way as well. Somedays I am jealous of stay at home moms. Others I feel blessed to have a career. It is hard for everyone, it is especially hard to know that we both work hard and still it isn't enough. My son is getting the best of his grandparents though. They are all really young. He LOVES LOVES LOVES when his grandma comes to play and watch him. He doesn't care that I am leaving. It is hard for everyone. Please feel that you are valued and kids need their parents, especially in the teen years, which I think they sometimes need their parents more.
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| 2 years ago :: Dec 08, 2007 - 9:46AM #7 | |
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I stayed at hom until my son went to school. I really loved that time. I had the chance to see him grow into the person he was to become and it was priceless. I do know that moms who work (outside the home, as Phil Donahue would say) have all the responsibilities as stay-at-home moms and don't get the credit they are due. So if you're a stay-at-home mom offering to help working mom would benefit everyone.
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| 5 months ago :: Jul 07, 2009 - 6:00PM #8 | |
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I think everyone's replies are thoughtful and "right on the money" and I want to encourage each stay at home mom to continue to keep up the creativity! I thought here might be a good place to share that Delve (the market research company) has many stay at home moms on our database that participate in things like paid in home absorbent product testing for children (training pants, diapers, overnight pants), taste tests on everything from pizza to low cal meals, and research group discussions on politics and advertisements. It is fun and interesting and does help out for those little extras. People are paid $35-$100 on average and participation takes between 30 min and 2 hours on average. Delve is part of a network of 10 offices across the nation. Your personal information is kept confidential and there are no sales as a part of participating. I encourage anyone to contact us at 952-858-1572 or find us on the web for more information. We are currently seeking moms for several studies so could even call today and start participating tomorrow. www Delve dot com |
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