I think I'll blame my insurance company.  They started this new program where you can save money by giving them your personal health care information.  I know what they are going to say-they're going to look at my numbers and say, "Hey fattie fat-a-lot, time for you to drop some pounds before you break your couch."  Aetna doesn't care if I just pushed a 7 pound something out of my crotch, they just want me to be thin again.  There is no opt out for preggo's or post preggos-we've got a gal at work who did it and declined their weight loss program because she's pregnant-and the computer told her that she was now considered moderate to high risk.  Of what?  Death, I think.

Maybe I'll blame the doctor's office.  After all, they were the ones that couldn't get me in until 11:30-for a fasting appointment.  I'm used to eating about every 2 hours-not waiting for 16 hours in between meals.  Plus I had a fussy baby who had to dine on six month old Haagen Daz hip fat. 

Well, I should probably just blame the liquor store.  Who knew that they would be sampling wines and spirits on Christmas eve?  The cups were really, really tiny-but when you haven't drank in awhile, and you haven't eaten for almost a day-a tiny, miniscule cup of coffee Patron can mess you up.  If I wasn't breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure that Patron would be mommy's new best friend.  And just in case you're the breastfeeding police-I did ask my doctor and an occasional glass of wine is okay-this was like the teeny, tiniest shot-maybe for a gnome or something.

If I can't blame the liquor store, then maybe I should blame the creepy guy in the parking lot outside Costco.  I'd pulled over to feed little Chedda.  There I was sitting in the backseat of my car, breastfeeding my little one and listening to GR and Reuvers on the radio.  Kitty corner from me was some old grandpa type who kept staring at me.  Admittedly, when he decided not to accompany his wife into the land of bulk-he probablywasn't expecting to get an eyeful of booby, but still he could've been a little more subtle about it. 

It was the combination of all of these things which led me to call into the radio to sing Christmas Carols today.  I mean what's a mother to do when she's feeding her baby in the parking lot BUT call up the radio and sing songs.  I mean, really.  And I didn't even change the lyrics to "What child is this, sucking on...." well you get the idea.  Anyhow if you were listening, I thought you might want to hear the backstory-I thought it was kind of funny.  And I got some Colleen Kruse wake up mugs to boot!  Merry Christmas to me.