Don't worry-I'm not planning on posting any breastfeeding photos here (I imagine gabster is even more nipple adverse than Facebook.)  And I'm not going to whip out a boob while sitting at your dinner table.  (well maybe Yes Forever's table-but only if I'm really drunk.)  But I've come along way from the sore nipple mommy that was hiding out in the guest bedroom too.  

It's strange because I went from it being fairly painful with me practically crying every time he latched on-too just being routine.  It's almost like I can just put him on my lap and he'll latch on without me having to do anything. (except for the times when he misses and latches on to my belly fat.)

I had this apron-like coverup which I would use when I was nursing anywhere besides home.  I'm sure you all would've gotten a chuckle to see me trying to nurse the biscuit outside of the Anoka Halloween parade on a particularly windy day.

I'd probably still be using it if it weren't for my sister-in-law's mother-in-law. We were out visiting for Thanksgiving.  As soon as I put on my baby feeding bib-my two nieces would be right next to me trying to figure out what was going on behind the curtain.  I'd explain that I was feeding the baby-and they'd look confused and then their mother would come and tell them to leave me alone.  

I was feeding the baby with my pillow and apron-when my sister-in-law's mother in law-whom I've met once before comes walking in, "Oh my gawd-I've got to see this baby she says and she walks right over and just lifts up the nursing cover.  Hello world of in-laws-meet my nursing breasts.  After that, every time my youngest niece would walk by she would want to see the baby eating.  And after being all bare chested in front of thirty people-well, why not, right?  (After all the fuss about baby eating was over-she was trying to decide if I might have another baby.  She took a big breath in and puffed out her tummy and told me that "your belly looks like this, Aunt Kelly."  This came only a week after one of my patients at work, had touched my belly excitedly and asked if had a "brother" in there.-Kids, huh?)  I've shared this one before-but another little girl I work with was trying to figure out how I fed my baby.  When it's not your kid, it's hard to know how much information to give-so I just told her that I give him milk.  She then pointed to her own chest-and said, "my mom fed me from these *pause while thinking of the word* brains." 

When I came back to Minnesota-I found that the nursing cover was more of a pain-it's easier to pop him on when I don't have to worry about cloth getting in the way.  So I decided that the backseat of my car is invisible land and I can do whatever I want without people seeing me.  (I realize this isn't true-but it's not like you're going to see any nipplage-just a baby head surrounded by some flabby peach flesh.)  Today I was out seeing clients all over the metro-and needed to pump-I suppose I could've used a cover up-but it just seemed easier to do it without.  Everything was fine-until I turned around to find a surprised looking family in the car next to mine.  Ooops.

I do still use the cover when I'm at a shopping mall or other clearly public place-more for other's comfort than my own.  And in front of my dad.  I think it's too weird for me to feed the baby in front of my own father-even if he did use to snap my bras back in junior high. 

Only time for a short blog-if it lets me post.

For the year 2009 I would like to never hear the following come out of my husband's mouth:

• We both kind of let ourselves go last year.
• We both got a little fat last year.
• We both need to lose some weight.

I would like to remind him that I did not get "fat" last year.  I had a baby. I can't comment on what happened to him.  More later-Happy New Year to all.

I think I'll blame my insurance company.  They started this new program where you can save money by giving them your personal health care information.  I know what they are going to say-they're going to look at my numbers and say, "Hey fattie fat-a-lot, time for you to drop some pounds before you break your couch."  Aetna doesn't care if I just pushed a 7 pound something out of my crotch, they just want me to be thin again.  There is no opt out for preggo's or post preggos-we've got a gal at work who did it and declined their weight loss program because she's pregnant-and the computer told her that she was now considered moderate to high risk.  Of what?  Death, I think.

Maybe I'll blame the doctor's office.  After all, they were the ones that couldn't get me in until 11:30-for a fasting appointment.  I'm used to eating about every 2 hours-not waiting for 16 hours in between meals.  Plus I had a fussy baby who had to dine on six month old Haagen Daz hip fat. 

Well, I should probably just blame the liquor store.  Who knew that they would be sampling wines and spirits on Christmas eve?  The cups were really, really tiny-but when you haven't drank in awhile, and you haven't eaten for almost a day-a tiny, miniscule cup of coffee Patron can mess you up.  If I wasn't breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure that Patron would be mommy's new best friend.  And just in case you're the breastfeeding police-I did ask my doctor and an occasional glass of wine is okay-this was like the teeny, tiniest shot-maybe for a gnome or something.

If I can't blame the liquor store, then maybe I should blame the creepy guy in the parking lot outside Costco.  I'd pulled over to feed little Chedda.  There I was sitting in the backseat of my car, breastfeeding my little one and listening to GR and Reuvers on the radio.  Kitty corner from me was some old grandpa type who kept staring at me.  Admittedly, when he decided not to accompany his wife into the land of bulk-he probablywasn't expecting to get an eyeful of booby, but still he could've been a little more subtle about it. 

It was the combination of all of these things which led me to call into the radio to sing Christmas Carols today.  I mean what's a mother to do when she's feeding her baby in the parking lot BUT call up the radio and sing songs.  I mean, really.  And I didn't even change the lyrics to "What child is this, sucking on...." well you get the idea.  Anyhow if you were listening, I thought you might want to hear the backstory-I thought it was kind of funny.  And I got some Colleen Kruse wake up mugs to boot!  Merry Christmas to me.

I don't make a point about blogging about other people's lives-but this one is just eating me up inside so I figure I'll put it to paper.

It's about my BFF-Kristin.  We've been friends since college-and when she is in town to visit-I can always count on late nights talking about everything under the sun.  We flew out for her wedding in Vegas last January-what a time we had!  Two weeks later she woke up with half her face paralyzed from Bell's Palsy.  Two months later, she could no longer dress herself, had difficulty walking, slurred speech and difficulty grasping objects in front of her.  I wrote about her at the time, she'd just been told it might be multiple sclerosis.  Due her doctor's inexperience/cowardice she spent the next six months traveling around the midwest trying to get an actual diagnosis.  In September they finally settled on the original diagnosis of MS and she was finally able to start treatment.  The good news is that she is getting better!!!  She only has to use a cane outside due to the snow/ice and is able to stand up in the shower again. 

A week ago her husband sat her down and told her that he wanted an annullment-that he thought that marriage shouldn't be this hard.  Did  I mention she spent the last three years supporting him while he went to school, and he now has a job?  He told her that he just wasn't the marrying kind-that the only reason he asked her is he felt she deserved it for all the time they'd been together.  He followed this up by stating that one day she would be proud of him for making this decision.  WTF? 

He's not an entirely unsympathetic character to me.  They've never really had the time to settle into the normal routine of marriage (which is difficult in itself.)  Deciding to be a caretaker for someone has to be incredibly difficult and ultimately personal decision.  Of course since he's hurt my friend I hate him.  That's the way I roll.

But here's what really burns me up-when she told her good friend at work-she was told, that "sometimes people make mistakes-and that they should own up to them and that's okay.  Some people shouldn't stay married."  Turns out the "friend" had been meeting with her husband behind her back.  They both admitted to being "interested" in each other, both are divorcing their spouses and they both claim that they didn't do anything because of their respect for their families.  When her friend found out she knew, she texted her saying that "she could pull her hair if she wanted."  What a effin bitch.  If you didn't do anything than why say you were interested in each other.  At anytime this would make me angry but to do this to her with what she is dealing with is shameful.  When I think about it I just get so angry-I want to fly out there and do some damage.  (what damage I could do with a little one is questionable, but I still feel that deep fierceness that happens when someone close to you is hurting.)

I'm writing this down, because I don't think my going off on her husband is particularly helpful for my friend.  I'm just trying to check in and listen right now.  What suggestions do you have for me?