Suburba Mama Drama

I am a mom. I live in the suburbs. My kids even play soccer! BUT, I do not get into Suburban Mama Drama. And now, it has found me.

Well, the mom who thrives on the drama has found me. Big time.

REALLY?! I addressed an issue with this woman head-on. Our daughters are friends *sigh* and something needed to be said. So I said it.

I made her cry.

I also had her say, "This won't affect our friendship, will it?"

Ummm, she is not my friend. I am friendly with her because our daughters play together, but I have not:

* Invited her over for drinks & BBQ

* Gone to her house for coffee

* Celebrated any occasion with her

* Contacted her for advice

* Contacted her just to talk

Today we will be working on a school event all afternoon and evening. I am perfectly content with what went down. Feeling much better since letting her know where I stand. I am proud of myself for letting somebody know up front that they were instigating a problem for my 8 yo daughter.

She will be wearing her Moma Drama. It may be a long Friday.

This weekend, my oldest passed her drivers test and got her 1st job. I let her drive by herself to and from play practice today for the 1st time. Very nerve wracking for me!

I remember being so excited about these milestones at her age - although they didn't happen so close together. I felt so "adult," very independent and free. I know that she is feeling the same, and as the mom I am NERVOUS! But very happy for her.

While she was driving to practice, the other 3 children and my husband & I were on the boat - catching no fish and getting a bit sunburned. My teen was bummed when she heard our afternoon plans. "Welcome to your summer!" I told her - the reply, "I know, right? I'll be going to work."

Do you remember when you got your first taste of freedom & independence?

Epic failure this morning as I slept too long and did not attend the traditional Morris Dancers May Day dance at sunrise. I will need to make this up by attending a different Morris Dance event.

My teen will take her road test for the drivers license today - I am not expecting a pass, but will be happy for her if she gets the license on her first attempt. After this little bit of stress, she will go for a 2nd job interview at MOA. MUCH positive energy is being sent her way today from me - hmm, and she has an AP History test that she MUST do very well on at the end of her school day.

We will celebrate Mother's Day Saturday evening with my in-laws, along with a birthday or two. If only I had $$$ to get presents. . . .

The neighbor children were at our house at 6am, daycare was closed for them. Things were fine until the piano banging began, and continued. So, I finally asked that the piano time end - and found that it was replaced by a few rousing games of Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. At this point it is a draw as to which becomes more irritating more quickly.

Now, off for a day with the husband. Shopping for shoes to match our outfits for next weekends wedding!

As my day unfolds, a small nagging piece of unrest is going to disturb my otherwise calm and determined mind. I may be happy and smiling, working hard and feeling good about myself, but I know that somebody I love is not happy. This will touch on me on and off until . . . . I don't know when.

I post here because my family does not go to this site at all. My brother is in an unhappy marriage. Yes, this is the case for many people. So what, right? His problem. Figure it out - bigger issues out there right now!

It saddens me. My brother is one of my best friends. His faults and his positives - I have known them longer than anybody else that he knows. He doesn't tell any of his other friends about his relationship issues. I think it is because he feels ashamed.

There are 4 children in this household: 2 of them children that he and his wife brought into the world together, 2 that are his step-children, but who he still cares about deeply, even though the feelings may not be mutual from one of them.

My belief is that eventually this marriage will end in divorce. There is so much wrong, and such an emptiness for caring to make moves toward working at making things better. Where help should be sought, money is given as the reason that it will not be gotten.

So, I will be there as an ear to bend when he is at the end of his rope again - but only if I feel that I can be strong enough to listen. To not get angry. To not become despondent myself. Because family and friends are important to me. But I really wish that there was a happier, healthier relationship for him.

As a parent, I feel as though I am learning how to do this job that I accepted each and every day of my life. It is ever changing, ever challenging. With a teenager, I am constantly finding myself in the midst of new scenarios that I did not see coming. But, I hope that by doing the best I can, my kids will end up happy adults when they leave.

Grades are a big thing in my house. The teen does not apply herself towards getting the best grades that she can, and it honestly frustrates me to no end! Add to this the "wonderful" addition of online grades and I have been able to tell exactly when she decides she doesn't want to turn in assignments, what tests she didn't study for and where she is doing well on a daily basis. Really, overkill.

She & I had an agreement at the end of summer, based on the # of outside activities she wanted to be involved in and the cost of them: no grade lower than the B range will be accepted. One C and she is removed from said expensive activities.

She met the challenge 1st trimester and drummed up her own additional bargain with me for 2nd tri. I am allowing her to succeed or fail in her classes without checking on her through online grades. I will only check 2-3 times this semester, with my first glance being today - the last day of school before Winter break.

Last tri was tough - lots of discussions about studying, turning in assignments and taking on too much. I just checked her grades a moment ago - an A in each class, with all assignments accounted for and test/quiz grades reflecting good study habits.

Maybe I have learned something from my teen. If I give her the chance to work on her own, fail or soar without my constant vigilance. . . . maybe she will just soar higher than she ever could have with me trying to push her off that ledge.