Is it allergies or is it a cold? That is the question at this time of year.
Z's super hero Simpson blog reminded me of our Xmas card this year:
Dance is over for a month or so. Very crazy week last week. Have a video of the teen at dress rehearsal. She was Belle in Beauty & the Beast. At the very end, she and the transformed beast dance and he dips her dramatically. At dress rehearsal, he dropped her on the stage. Funny stuff, can't get the clip to upload here.
What do you do when you have a pressure headache? When you are stuffy in the head? Green tea, nasal spray, pseudofed (is that how you spell it? It's almost illegal to buy), nothing is working. Maybe I need a nap. Could somebody tell the preschooler that?
Everybody must react this way when they read one of Z's blogs. I just want to grab a few cups of coffee and sit down with her and some other women and talk. Talk about what she blogged about - where the thoughts and feelings stem from - where the journey is leading her. How the rest of these women at the table are coping and succeeding.
The past can be intimidating. But it is always there. Never changing, unless it is growing in my own mind. Becoming worse than it was. Making me feel smaller than I am.
But the past is also me. "If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?!" Nothing. Not the mistakes, not the missteps. Nothing. Who would I be if I changed even one part of the person I used to be? What person would not be in my life now because of something I want to change 20 years ago? What person would be here?
When my oldest was a baby, my mother frequently would say, "That baby girl saved your life. You wouldn't be living here now if you hadn't had her." Ugh, melodramatic. But, also ringing true. Saved my life? Hmm, let's not get carried away - but really, having that child became the catalyst for many changes that helped to lead me here. Growing stronger, because I had to think of my child first.
It takes a long time to get over the anxious feeling a song, a smell, a similar event can trigger. But, I do believe that eventually I will turn that corner one final time. I feel it happening now. In small ways. And it feels liberating. It gives me strength.
Z - wise beyond her years and fun beyond this world! She really does make me think.
Was anybody listening to Colleen & the Boys today when they talked about staging houses for selling purposes. She mentioned briefly that she has a friend that loves clowns - possibly that collects them? The point was that her friend would have to do something with them so that a potential buyer wouldn't walk into the room and get freaked out, needing additional clown therapy for the scare.
Well, it reminded me of a disturbing part of my weekend. While at Exit, it got close to their 4am bar time and the bartender decided to put in some porn on the TVs. OK, fine. It's weird, but so is the bar. Everybody is watching intermittently.
And then she did it. She turned on the clown porn! Was anybody else aware that there is a viable market for this before now?! Seriously, it was disturbing. The clown had full facial makeup on and never took off his checkered pants, just let the mister out to be enjoyed. Of course, the lady that starred in the show was necked - totally. But CLOWN PORN?! Friends that frequent the bar told me that this bartender has told them that she pulls it out to get the crowd less rowdy - aroused?? Well, it worked. We left.
The next day one of my friends said that she accidentally stumbled upon some clown porn on the internet. She was also disturbed.
Since Saturday morning ('cause we were out that late) we have all made clown remarks and grossed each other out (Hey, do you still have that nose?! What is this, some kind of clown car? etc) Yuk. Just say no to clown porn. I will never hear the word "clown" again in the same way.
Finally figured out the photo upload thing (oy, it's taking about 1/2 an hour per picture!) and am ready to tell some tales about my Mother's Day weekend in Chicago.
First: the Ministry concert was, of course, fun but honestly - Al Jorgenson looks/acts older than my dad (hard partying did no favors for that man). AND our concensus was that 1 hour straight of "We hate George W Bush" songs was unecessary. Bands need to understand that they can have 3 albums (umm CDs) of their political stuff - whatever. I don't have to buy them. But when we go to a concert, we get it already. You don't like Bush. Play something that I have been listening to for years so I can have MORE FUN!! Here's a pic of me, Danny and my husband before going out Friday night:
We pre-concerted at a place across the street called Tenpin. WAY fun. It's pretty much an upscale bowling alley with a bar and food - giant screens at the end of each alley playing music videos that we sang and danced to! No pictures from there because I had no place to put my camera so it wouldn't get confiscated from me at House of Blues.
And OMG! it was SO crowded I was scanning the place for the nearest fire exit and figuring out how I could get out without getting trampled! And why is it that whenever I am at a crowded concert like that there is SOMEBODY with horrendous gas (or a case of the @ss, as we were referring to it). P U! YUK.
After concert - to Exit for more fun. It is at a new location, so not as nostalgic as I thought, but still cool. Downstairs is a punk bar with motorcycles to sit on and upstairs is industrial - with a cave to sit in and tables. Here are 2 of my friends on our way up:
We only stayed in the industrial side for a short while. Downstairs was just more peppy by that time. I danced on the table by the cycles early and then a nice girl helped me figure out how to hang on the pole long enough to get my picture taken! After my friend took my picture, a group of guys from mid-eastern descent asked me to pose again. I did, then was told - "See, now you are famous." Yeah, I said, I'll be all over the Internet! My brother severely chastised my behavior over the phone today - telling me that I need to be more aware of where I am at and what I am doing before I get into trouble. My friend Danny (on the bike below) told me not to worry - he, my husband and the other guys were all watching out for me ;) Besides, my brother was dirty dancing all over my friend from the above picture for awhile - well, until her husband gave her a dollar to stick in his pants! So who should talk?!
After getting something to eat, we arrived at our friends' house to police there at 5:30AM because they had gotten graffitied (is that a word)! Needless to say, we helped them clean up the side of their house on Saturday while we drank coffee.
FOOD! Got a real Chicago dog for lunch - YUMMM! And for dinner, our group went to Klas - a Czech restaurant in Cicero (so classy!). I have not laughed so hard for so long in quite awhile! Here is a photo that we decided makes my brother look like he and the menu have been dating for about 6 months and he's crazy in love with it! Also, a front view of the place. SUCH good food that always brings back memories of growing up as my tummy gets fuller and fuller.
Went back to the house we were crashing at to play pool and have some beers - laughing too much for longer! And how could my brother POSSIBLY have eaten those chips while we did that ?! I was still full from the restaurant when we woke up to drive home Sunday morning!
If you made it this far into my online scrapbook, I hope you enjoyed the trip! As one of my other friends said last night, "It's like, once we all get together I realize how much I miss you. And then it's even harder when you leave." Yeah, that is totally my feeling today.
I am back home from my weekend of fun for Mothers Day - without my children! I need some sleep (my friends in the Windy City are night owls. 4am is not my normal "let's go home" time!). I will blog of my fun & post pictures ('though WAY not as cool as BeckyAnna's vacation photos - totally!) BUT - alas, I find that I can no longer upload photos! What the 'eff?
I still can't even get the pics from my night at Samira's online! I keep making them smaller, but the system just laughs at me: HA, HA, HA. No posting photos silly girl! You have been banned!
HELP! I will try more tomorrow and fill you in on my fun and revelry this weekend. I really miss my friends in IL. It almost makes it harder when I visit and leave. Like, it just won't ever be enough time to see them all. . .
