A baby, we has one.

Why don't we put pads on the kids
helmets, head gear and mouth pieces
Then we could pad the floor and walls
put cameras inside bathroom stalls
We make sure only nice bands play
make every show a matinee
Teach kids to be all they can be
and we could sing my country tis of thee
sweet land of liberty

NoFx - "The Separation of Church and Skate"

I am about to cross the threshold into motherhood. I almost want to pick up the family, move to a commune in the middle of nowhere, and never own a TV, radio, or computer ever again.

OK, maybe just the commune part. But damn, some recent and not-so-recent stories are bumming me out. It's been building up for years.

Exhibit A: A Mom Lets Her Son Walk to Soccer…And The Police Come Calling

"He got 3 blocks and a police car intercepted him. The police came to my house — after I had left — and spoke with my younger children (who were home with Grandma). They then found me at the soccer field and proceeded to tell me how I could be charged with child endangerment."

Now, excuse the **** out of me, Mr. Po-po, but we're not talking about a woman releasing her child on the streets of South Detroit at 2 AM. But you know -- you KNOW! -- that there are legions of helicopter parents clucking their tongues and nodding in their self-righteousness. How DARE this mother let this precious snowflake walk 1/3 of a mile to soccer practice!

**** off, helicopter parents.

Thankfully this story has a happy, sane, and victorious ending.

Exhibit B: The Natasha Richardson accident

"Lyne Lortie, a spokeswoman for the Mont Tremblant ski resort in the Laurentian Hills north of Montreal, said Ms. Richardson had fallen during a beginner’s lesson. She was not wearing a helmet at the time, she said.

'It was a normal fall; she didn’t hit anyone or anything,' Ms. Lortie said. 'She didn’t show any signs of injury; she was talking and she seemed all right.'" [emphasis mine]

She was not wearing a helmet. She was not wearing a helmet. A helmet. On a bunny hill. You know what? **** your skiing helmets. Seriously? A helmet for skiing? How about a helmet for walking to the mailbox on the corner? Or a helmet for pulling the car out of the driveway? Escalator helmets? HEY AMERICA: accidents happen. They will happen to you. And me. And your kid. Life's a bitch!

There are times when helmets and pads are appropriate. I live in Minneapolis and we're a pretty bike-friendly town, but you have to have a helmet because of all the idiot drivers, bad roads, and bad weather. I would never get on a scooter or motorcycle without a helmet. I would never play roller derby without a helmet. I would never ski down an ungroomed mountain without a helmet. But COME ON with the helmets for kids on tricycles and Big Wheels and...

Exhibit C: Helmets for kids on toy ponies

"And as with any ride on toy, kids should wear a helmet and other safety gear to make sure that kids are as safe as possible in case he or she should fall."

DEAR GODS YOUR CHILD PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKE MIGHT BUMP ITS HEAD AND GET A BRUISE! WHY HASN'T THIS PRODUCT BEEN RECALLED YET?! OMG!

Yes, you can absolutely buy a Rocky Taconite bobblehead at http://www.silverbay.com.  I'd lock it up at night.

I have four free tickets to the Minnesota RollerGirls bout on Saturday, Feb 28.

Our last bout was nearly sold out.  If you want these tickets, let me know.  First come, first served.

UPDATE: These are taken now, but you should still totally go.

I haven't written a homecooking foodblog in a while. I don't have pretty pictures today but I do have a really simple recipe that turned into an absolutely fantastic quick dinner.

Tomato Basil Soup

1 14.5 oz can chicken broth
2 14.5-oz cans crushed tomatoes
1 tsp sugar
1 stem's worth of fresh basil, finely chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup butter
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper

Bring chicken broth, crushed tomatoes, and crushed red pepper to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer about 10 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients and remove from heat. Stir until butter melts.

Serves 4-6

We also had crab cakes from Trader Joe's. Total time spent on dinner: 20 minutes.