It's Memorial Day.  This is the day I always think about my Grandpa George.  He was, of course, a small part of the 'greatest generation'..  he fought in WWII..  in the Pacific theater.  He was a good man..  but hard.   My grandma told me that he came back from that war a very different man..  but never once did he speak of it..  ever.

I wish he had..  both for his sake and mine.  I would have liked to know what he went through as a very young man.  I would have liked to know, too, what he did.  I would have liked for him to find some way to exorcise his demons..  it would have been good for him..  and for my grandma..  and for my mom. 

All we ever really knew is that you never better EVER EVER EVER serve him rice.  He could not stand the sight or smell of rice.  What must he have experienced? 

I loved him.

So, on a different note..  it's Memorial Day!   That wonderful day off most of us get, and for me it has been a lovely day off indeed.   Not that I did anything amazing or anything.. we were supposed to go to my mom and dad's, but just didn't feel up to it..  so much to be done around here.

I dragged Mike out to do his favorite thing EVER..  shopping.  Seriously..  Mike loves shopping..  not.  But there are so many things we still need from before the fire, and I thought that since the weather wasn't really optimum, it would be a perfect day to shop for stuff.  We went to Home Goods (yes, Mike's very favorite store ever..   again not).

I found a mirror.  Not just any mirror..  a beautifully framed 6' by 4' deal that is meant to just lean against a wall, just like what I have been wanting, and ON SALE CHEAP.  Now we have been without a full length mirror since Nov of 06..  so it's definitely time for me to start doing the once over- check out my a$$ before I leave the house in the morning thing..  (maybe if I had had a mirror all this time I wouldn't have gained 10 lbs).

Anyway, this mirror was huge.  I told Mike we couldn't buy it because there was no way it would fit in the car.  He told me it would totally fit in the car.  So the two of us lugged the damned thing from the back of the store up to check out and stood in line, arguing the whole time about whether or not it will fit in the car.

Me..  "There is no way in hell this thing is fitting in the car".

Mike.. "It wil fit..  no problem".

Me.. "You wanna bet?"

Mike..  "Sure..  cuz it wil fit".

Other customers in checkout lines.. "Heehee..   they're idiots..  no way that mirror is fitting in a car".

I won't tell you what we bet.

Anyhow, we dragged  the thing out to the curb.   Mike pulled the car up while I guarded the behemoth (sp)  mirror, not from theft, but from blowing over and shattering.  Guess what..  not even close..  NO WAY it's fitting.  Score..  I won the bet..  (not telling you what I won).

So we called  Johnny..  our friend Johnny who has the biggest SUV known to man (yet b*tches at us every time he thinks we might not be recycling properly), we all have our issues.  Luckily Johnny also really had nothing important going on today, and we only had to stand curbside holding big a$$ mirror for about 20 more minutes.  (Actually, I went in and shopped more and let Mike deal with the whole mirror/cold/windy situation.

Mirror is now leaning against wall in empty bedroom..  we now have a bed and a mirror!  I am so excited!

Rest of the day was pretty boring.  I spent most if it learning more about how Jane works (Jane is my new and marvelous laptop).  There is actually a camera and video recording deal on Jane's face!!   I had no idea!  I was so excited I had to learn how to use it and recorded Mike doing his favorite thing ever.  I would post it, but it's apparently packing too many megabytes for this site to handle.   Damn.

Despite the storms and general sucky weather, I hope you all had a decent weekend, and are rejuvenated for the new week.    I know I am..   and tomorrow I will actually be able to see if there is lint on the back of my pants!

Most of you who know me know that I have been living in computer hell for some time now.  At my business the thing has just plain crapped out..  3 years of heavy use, not to mention the strange and forbidden places it may have been taken to by people who will remain nameless,  rendered my poor computer very ill indeed..  in fact, terminally ill.  Viruses abounded..  and she gasped her last desperate breaths this past week.  (Not before I was able to save a few key files..  whew!)

And my home computer is a whole different story.  She's a teenager..  she spends most of her time at myspace, facebook..  and of course downloading music (her main function in life).  She is almost NEVER available for me and my middle aged, what's new on CNN or askmayoclinic.com silliness.   Nope..  she is firmly in the grips of her two mistresses..  yes, my teen-aged daughters.  And I am just not up for the turf battles anymore.

SO..  today I bought my very own (mine ALL mine) laptop!     YAAAAYYYYY!   Hurray for me!  She is my new BABY! 

Hmmm..   why do I always think of computers as females?  Never thought about it before.   Boats and ships are female, but why computers?  Could it be that they are smart, full of information, always willing to talk back, prone to momentary bouts of attitude, and..  oh yes..  completely unpredictable?  Yes..  that is why computers are definitely female, and I will make no apologies for my blatant sexism.

Anyway..  I have given my Baby a name.  She is Jane.   Folks..  meet Jane.  This is my very first gabster post with Jane by my side (or actually in front of me), so be kind to her..   know she is still very young..   a gabster virgin so to speak.  She is solid, honest, pure (so far), and ready to be my wonderful true friend for years to come.   I will treat Jane well..   I will cater to her every demand.  She will always get her updates and she will be well protected with every firewall and spysweeper and antivirus vaccination I can find and install.   Jane will have a good life with me.

I am now looking for the perfect case to carry Jane in..  one in which she will be comfortable and will accomodate all of her various accoutrements (ie.. mouse, remote storage backup device, reading gl**** so I can always see what Jane needs, etc).  And she needs to be fashionable too..  this may take some time.

Yes..   I know I sound like a crazy lunatic.  In fact..  adorable hubby looked at me hard in the eyes tonite and said..  "hey..  it might be time we take a vacation, I think you could use it".

Hell yeah..  let's go...  name the time and place and I will so be there!.

But Jane's coming too...

HA!!!   Poo on you Mother Nature!  That tornado you just sent to my town skipped right over the top of our house.  You didn't get us this time..  one more wave on it's way and we're in the clear.  We will beat you this time you old Mother!

Please?  Pretty please with sugar on top...  I swear, insurance will totally cancel us if you wreck our house again.  2-1/2 years ago you let us have it good, and I know the fire wasn't you, but please cut us a break.  Three major claims in as many years would not be a good thing. 

Here you come again..  I can hear your thunderous roaring in the distance.  I am not your biggest fan right now, Ms. Nature, but I have learned to respect you. 

Best I log off before you send a lightning bolt to blow out my computer.

Happy hail storm..   please be gentle.  The car won't fit in the garage right now.

Why am I always wide awake in the middle of the night?   I hate that I am..   but I love love love the night.  I love the smell of night, the stars..  the way the wind sounds and feels..   I love the quiet..  I even love the late night sorry a$$ TV..   but I also love the morning.

Yes..  I love the EARRRRLLLLYYYY morning.  Just when the sun is about to rise..  when you first start to hear the birds sing.  The hint of a new day always makes me feel oh so yummy inside.

So the problem is, quite simply..   I cannot be late night girl and early morning girl all at the same time.  It just doesn't work..   nope...  it doesn't.

So I was thinking.   If I could go to bed at about 7am every day, and rise again at about 2pm..   ohhh   that would be so perfect!  I could have the best of both my worlds. 

I guess I should be working third shift somewhere..  but no..  then I would miss all the things I love about the late night and early morning because I would be working.  Maybe it would be better if I needed no sleep at all..  but I love sleep so that wouldn't work either. 

You  know what..  I am going to start to live my schedule.  I think I will try it for 2 weeks and see how it pans out. 

It's now after 3am and I am just feeling the urge to exercise!   I have always told myself that it's ridiculous to work out in the middle of the night..  but that's the only time I want to.  So now I must sign off..   I am going for a bike ride..  a long one.  I hope no bats get caught in my hair.

I must be a vampire..   hmmm..   at least I am starting to accept myself for who I am.

One  would think that after all the trouble Furburt (Lee Effin Loo's little buddy) has brought to my life in the last couple of years (ie.  burglary, tornado, house burning down, IRS audit,  insurance nightmare from Hades,  etc, etc, etc) that he would have tired of me.  It seems he has not.

Now granted he hasn't done anything too terribly awful lately.  He seems to just want to eff with me ever so slightly..  it seems he just wants to amuse himself a bit..  it seems he loves me and wants to hang out by my side.

So yesterday I was expecting a large wine order.  The weekend sort of ran me out of wine..  which is a good thing.  The problem was when I got the call yesterday morning from my wine rep, informing me that they couldn't bring me any wine because I had been ‘posted'.  For those of you who don't know.. this can mean I am past thirty days in payment, or other issues with my license, or insurance, or God knows what else (yes folks, the liquor lobby is that powerful).  I was out of Chardonnay, Shiraz, and Cabernet..  no way half-price wine night (Mondays) can happen without my three biggest selling wines.  Now I knew that I wasn't past due on payment, so I asked her if she knew who had posted me.  She told me it was the STATE.

So I went through about an hour of transfers, press 3 for this dept, press 6 for that dept, please leave a message bullsh*t  with the state of MN..  only to be told it was a City of Mpls issue.  Called the city..  more transfers..  finally I find out that the paperwork for my license renewal (filed by me ON TIME complete with the $2700 check over a month ago) was never sent to the state.  Why not I ask?  "HEE HEE..  sorry, it got put in the wrong folder".  WTF?    "Well gee,"  I reply, "this is only my business..  I do sell wine for a living".  Imagine my dismay when the city cog I was speaking with glibly informed me that it really wasn't his problem.  A$$hole.

I did get it resolved, was ‘un-posted' and received my wine delivery at about 6pm, only through the goodness of my lovely wine rep's charity.

Next topic.  My computer is still screwed.  I have tried to post many comments on this site in the last couple of days..  most of which have dropped into the whateversphere never to be recovered.  This blog is being written as a word document (for your ensured reading pleasure).  Seriously..  as soon as I find just the right laptop, be it mac or pc..  this bad boy is going straight into the Mississippi..   I may even have a party.

The last of my Furburt issues tonite involves campers.  Campers are people who bring tents and sleeping bags to their desired destination with the intention of eating and drinking off the land they reside in.

Okay folks..  not my restaurant.  Not any restaurant.  These people are the ones who show up ten minutes before your posted closing time.  They split entrees and bring coupons (nothing against this if it is during NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS).  But they stay..   they nurse their water and debate about dessert..  or perhaps..  hmmm.... Should we have a coffee.   They force the places they frequent to stay open..   causing payroll costs that outweigh anything they will spend. 

Tonite  we had two tables of campers.  They both came with the dreaded happenings cards..  they both drank water or iced tea.  We waited patiently.  And then we waited.  At 10:30 (we close at 9 on weeknights) we were still waiting..  server and dishwasher on hand (we cut the cook as soon as the food was out).  This cost me approximately $17 an hour in payroll so make that about $25 to be fair.  Then factor in clean up time and utilities..  probably another 10 bucks.  Now let's say this happens twice a week (and it does)..  and now let's factor in 52 weeks a year..   yep.. ‘campers' are costing the average small restaurant  about $3,640 a year.. (yes, I do this all in my head..  I am amazing.).  Sh*t..  that's almost one month of lease payment!

I do understand that they pay something for their meals and water..  and I also understand that there may be return visits..  but nonetheless, these campers have become the dread of every restaurant owner and worker alike.

Moral of the story..  if you are at a restaurant and you a past closing..   feeling the need to hold your lover's hand and talk big deep meaningful conversation..  just order something...  anything..       anything......    pay for your time.  

Or take it to a hotel.

Furburt has made me evil tonite.   Sorry.