One  would think that after all the trouble Furburt (Lee Effin Loo's little buddy) has brought to my life in the last couple of years (ie.  burglary, tornado, house burning down, IRS audit,  insurance nightmare from Hades,  etc, etc, etc) that he would have tired of me.  It seems he has not.

Now granted he hasn't done anything too terribly awful lately.  He seems to just want to eff with me ever so slightly..  it seems he just wants to amuse himself a bit..  it seems he loves me and wants to hang out by my side.

So yesterday I was expecting a large wine order.  The weekend sort of ran me out of wine..  which is a good thing.  The problem was when I got the call yesterday morning from my wine rep, informing me that they couldn't bring me any wine because I had been ‘posted'.  For those of you who don't know.. this can mean I am past thirty days in payment, or other issues with my license, or insurance, or God knows what else (yes folks, the liquor lobby is that powerful).  I was out of Chardonnay, Shiraz, and Cabernet..  no way half-price wine night (Mondays) can happen without my three biggest selling wines.  Now I knew that I wasn't past due on payment, so I asked her if she knew who had posted me.  She told me it was the STATE.

So I went through about an hour of transfers, press 3 for this dept, press 6 for that dept, please leave a message bullsh*t  with the state of MN..  only to be told it was a City of Mpls issue.  Called the city..  more transfers..  finally I find out that the paperwork for my license renewal (filed by me ON TIME complete with the $2700 check over a month ago) was never sent to the state.  Why not I ask?  "HEE HEE..  sorry, it got put in the wrong folder".  WTF?    "Well gee,"  I reply, "this is only my business..  I do sell wine for a living".  Imagine my dismay when the city cog I was speaking with glibly informed me that it really wasn't his problem.  A$$hole.

I did get it resolved, was ‘un-posted' and received my wine delivery at about 6pm, only through the goodness of my lovely wine rep's charity.

Next topic.  My computer is still screwed.  I have tried to post many comments on this site in the last couple of days..  most of which have dropped into the whateversphere never to be recovered.  This blog is being written as a word document (for your ensured reading pleasure).  Seriously..  as soon as I find just the right laptop, be it mac or pc..  this bad boy is going straight into the Mississippi..   I may even have a party.

The last of my Furburt issues tonite involves campers.  Campers are people who bring tents and sleeping bags to their desired destination with the intention of eating and drinking off the land they reside in.

Okay folks..  not my restaurant.  Not any restaurant.  These people are the ones who show up ten minutes before your posted closing time.  They split entrees and bring coupons (nothing against this if it is during NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS).  But they stay..   they nurse their water and debate about dessert..  or perhaps..  hmmm.... Should we have a coffee.   They force the places they frequent to stay open..   causing payroll costs that outweigh anything they will spend. 

Tonite  we had two tables of campers.  They both came with the dreaded happenings cards..  they both drank water or iced tea.  We waited patiently.  And then we waited.  At 10:30 (we close at 9 on weeknights) we were still waiting..  server and dishwasher on hand (we cut the cook as soon as the food was out).  This cost me approximately $17 an hour in payroll so make that about $25 to be fair.  Then factor in clean up time and utilities..  probably another 10 bucks.  Now let's say this happens twice a week (and it does)..  and now let's factor in 52 weeks a year..   yep.. ‘campers' are costing the average small restaurant  about $3,640 a year.. (yes, I do this all in my head..  I am amazing.).  Sh*t..  that's almost one month of lease payment!

I do understand that they pay something for their meals and water..  and I also understand that there may be return visits..  but nonetheless, these campers have become the dread of every restaurant owner and worker alike.

Moral of the story..  if you are at a restaurant and you a past closing..   feeling the need to hold your lover's hand and talk big deep meaningful conversation..  just order something...  anything..       anything......    pay for your time.  

Or take it to a hotel.

Furburt has made me evil tonite.   Sorry.