Most of you who know me know that I have been living in computer hell for some time now.  At my business the thing has just plain crapped out..  3 years of heavy use, not to mention the strange and forbidden places it may have been taken to by people who will remain nameless,  rendered my poor computer very ill indeed..  in fact, terminally ill.  Viruses abounded..  and she gasped her last desperate breaths this past week.  (Not before I was able to save a few key files..  whew!)

And my home computer is a whole different story.  She's a teenager..  she spends most of her time at myspace, facebook..  and of course downloading music (her main function in life).  She is almost NEVER available for me and my middle aged, what's new on CNN or askmayoclinic.com silliness.   Nope..  she is firmly in the grips of her two mistresses..  yes, my teen-aged daughters.  And I am just not up for the turf battles anymore.

SO..  today I bought my very own (mine ALL mine) laptop!     YAAAAYYYYY!   Hurray for me!  She is my new BABY! 

Hmmm..   why do I always think of computers as females?  Never thought about it before.   Boats and ships are female, but why computers?  Could it be that they are smart, full of information, always willing to talk back, prone to momentary bouts of attitude, and..  oh yes..  completely unpredictable?  Yes..  that is why computers are definitely female, and I will make no apologies for my blatant sexism.

Anyway..  I have given my Baby a name.  She is Jane.   Folks..  meet Jane.  This is my very first gabster post with Jane by my side (or actually in front of me), so be kind to her..   know she is still very young..   a gabster virgin so to speak.  She is solid, honest, pure (so far), and ready to be my wonderful true friend for years to come.   I will treat Jane well..   I will cater to her every demand.  She will always get her updates and she will be well protected with every firewall and spysweeper and antivirus vaccination I can find and install.   Jane will have a good life with me.

I am now looking for the perfect case to carry Jane in..  one in which she will be comfortable and will accomodate all of her various accoutrements (ie.. mouse, remote storage backup device, reading gl**** so I can always see what Jane needs, etc).  And she needs to be fashionable too..  this may take some time.

Yes..   I know I sound like a crazy lunatic.  In fact..  adorable hubby looked at me hard in the eyes tonite and said..  "hey..  it might be time we take a vacation, I think you could use it".

Hell yeah..  let's go...  name the time and place and I will so be there!.

But Jane's coming too...