Wow, was I ever conflicted listening to Ian and Margery's guest this morning, Dagmar Herzog!   I found her thinking both refreshing and creative, yet she seemed to be terrribly bound by old resentments, restrictive thinking and gross generalizations of people in her past.  Yikes!

I've thought a lot about sex and abstinence in my life: of course, as a woman and wife, but especially as a mom of two teenagers (19 and 17).  When our family was younger, we were involved in churches where purity (in all matters) was held up as a must for salvation and completely attainable.  When my kids were pre-teens, we had transitioned to a church that teaches that humans are not capable of perfection here on this earth and are in need of the grace and love that has already been provided to us.  Abstinence no longer became a goal, but one of many desired end products of a life of grace, forgiveness and thankfulness.  As with any desired end product, the road needed to be paved with education, self-awareness, planning, prayer and grace.  Ten years ago, I thought that an act of sexual impurity would mean the end of my dreams for my teens; now I've removed myself from the center and feel much more prepared to help my kids cope with the inevitable mistakes in life, whatever they might be.  My confidence does not lie in my kids' ability to remain pure, for if they were capable there would be no need for love and grace in this world.  My confidence lies in the multi-faceted education (scriptural, biological, relational, etc)  they have been given.