How is it that we forget so easily the joys of childhood?  The wind rustling through leaves on the trees. The feel of the grass between your toes and the sun on your head.  When did ti become odd to appreciate swinging with your stomach on the swing and feeling your arms and legs fly through the air, lightly brushing against the sand?

Yesterday I realized that my daughter (my oldest) is starting her school career in kindergarten.  Her indekpendance exemplified by her school schedule.  Mixed emotions cloud my mind as she embarks on her educational career.  Sometimes I am sad because she is ending her toddler-hood and those special times during the day that we could talk and play will be no more.  Sometimes the happy knowledge that she is prepared to start this exciting journey.

This brings me back to my mourning the loss of my own innocence.  The loss of my joy for summer days and a world filled with magical possibilities.

I tried to grab that joy back a little yesterday.  I laid a blanket out on the grass, in the heat of the sun.  My two oldest daughters laid out on the blanket to enjoy summer as it comes to an end.  We closed our eyes and talked about the sounds, feelings and smells of summer.  As I lay there enjoying the sun on my face- I remembered what excitement summer held as a child.  I wanted to hold onto it, bottle it, keep that feeling of freedom close to my heart. 

Alas I returned to my adult world, but may I remember what summer and innocence means as I mourn my baby becoming a big girl.