Today, I saw something that I hope to NEVER witness again. Honestly, I'm still dumbfounded by this one.

I was chopping vegetables in the kitchen around lunchtime as Jack and Sophia were playing in the front yard. The sun was shining, and the osso bucco was starting to take shape. I was carefully following a new recipe for our anniversary dinner.

As I looked out the window, enjoying the beautiful flowers that my family planted for me yesterday... my eyes were assaulted with the white little butt of Sophia.

At first, I wondered why I was being mooned, but soon realized that she had her panties down to her ankles, her skirt flipped up and she was squatting in the middle of the front yard. Soon, she was peeing on the grass as her brother looked on without a comment.

I of course, was screaming, "SOPHIA!!! NOOOOO!!!"

Note: she was only about 10 feet from the front door and could have made it to the bathroom, so I'm certain this was not a moment where she just forgot that she had to go and needed to find the best solution possible.

I ran outside and scanned the neighborhood to see if our neighbors had been graced with Sophia's antics. Thankfully, there was not an audience beyond Jack and I.
She looked up at me, still with her panties to her ankles and managed to pull off the best "what's wrong mom?" look. Of course, the innocent look does not work on me and I quickly told her to pull up her panties and come inside. Then, I explained that we need to pee only in the bathroom and that she needed to change her clothes. I think I had stopped her mid-stream, so she may have gotten completely covered in her own... well you know.

In this midst of this moment of explanation to my confused three-year old, I could barely hold it together. Thoughts swirled in my head anywhere from: "Why would she do that!" to "She's never even had to pee outside when we've been out hiking/boating/camping... why would she try it now!!!" and also on the "Where you raised in a barn???!!!!" I was half giggling, half completely exasperated. Seriously???!!! Did she just do that? I thought only boys did that!

At first, I did the mom-shame thing and felt horrible that she would even try that. Then, I realized that although many people put on that "perfect mom" persona, they too have had to witness moments of absurdity. Certainly the "my child would never do that" and "I raise mine better" only really works for new parents who haven't had the chance to see their 3 year old squatting in the front yard. We all try, we all do our best... and yet they still pee all over themselves in a moment of toddler problem-solving.