There have been several moments in my life where I have either intentionally or life has forced me to slow down and reexamine things. The last time I came to this point, it was forced upon me and the details were seared into my brain, a constant reminder of pain and struggle. This time, I chose this route. Honestly, it's alot easier to choose to slow down and take a life-inventory than it is to have cir****stance fling it upon you.

I quit my job at Starbucks on Friday. After crying myself to sleep on Thursday evening and thinking deeply about the joy that this job has brought me, I woke up resolved and thoughtful. I loved Starbucks... and still do. I've worked there for several years as an attempt to bring in more money and get out of the house. Then, it became clear to me... I was simply going through too much to adequately hold down that job. My life has become exceedingly challenging as my health continues to flip flop from sickness to sickness. Even a fairly normal procedure like wisdom-teeth removal has morphed into a monster. Of course, I would be the one that has every complication and side-affect.

I wondered why I clung to this job so hard as I wasn't able to make all my shifts and was constantly in a state of stress whenever I went there. In addition, there were several personalities at work that I began to see clearer over the last couple of weeks. Although I know we need the money, I also knew that my husband had jobs that had to be put on hold and/or rescheduled because of the couple of nights that I was working. Therefore, it would save us all a little bit of headache if I left.

Regardless the reasoning, I stopped and reexamined everything. It became clear that for now I needed to quit. Maybe once I am stronger I may be able to go back to work, but for now it was just too much. I was barely hanging onto sanity as it was and the stress was simply too much.

So here I am... jobless... finished with school... and simply asked to care for myself and take care of my family. I feel free.

This will be an interesting journey. I'm trying to remember that taking care of myself both in terms of staying healthy and creating an atmosphere for happiness is possibly my most-important job. Although I've attempted several times over the last 6 months to refocus my efforts of getting my body back in "fighting" shape, it seems that the element of stress always thwarted my efforts.

So, I'm starting this process by simply trying to get over the health issues that I've been struggling with this week... and beginning to remember the most important people in my life. My children have their last week of school and then we are free to jump into summer with excitement. It will be a wonderful summer and I look forward to exploring the imaginary realms of children's stories and taking adventures with my little explorers. I look forward to connecting with friends.

Most of all, I am reexamining my life and trying to fit the things that make me the most happy into every day. I even stopped working in the yard this weekend because I consciously chose to take care of myself and not push my body too hard. Instead, I grabbed a book and sat in the sun to enjoy my day. Although this may seem small, the victory for me is the choice to stop. I'm good at pushing myself to the limit everyday and accomplishing alot.

So... that's where I am at... anyone else re-examining life? What have you learned?