I have been holding it all together these last two weeks, and now as I finish my bawling... I am feeling much better.

My husband has been working nights (and sometimes days too) because they are doing a tile job in a business which requires these crazy hours.  It has been good for us, and I know this will bring extra money.  Our schedule has switched from breakfast as a family at 6AM and dinner at 4pm... to my husband coming home somewhere in the vacinity of 5AM and sleeping all day... then off to work at 9PM.  Although I know that the majority of the work is on his shoulders and I try to make things as comfortable for him as possible, it has taken a toll on me. 

Often when things switch around, it is my job to keep things going.  Keep the kids in their routine, ensure everyone has food to eat, and snacks for my husband when he works odd hours.  I do all the shopping and housework so he does not need to bother himself with these things.  So, when his schedule changes, I take it with a smile and ask him if he needs me to do anything for him. 

Well- keeping things afloat has been difficult.  I never realized how much I rely on my husband to relax.  Yes, when the kids are in bed, I have time to relax and work on homework and do some odd laundry jobs... but I realized I am never really relaxing until he is home.  When he gets home, it is like I exhale and all the worries of the day go away.  He does not even have to be doing anything for me.  I simply like to have him home to "back me up".  Lately, with him sleeping during the day and off to work at night- I am "on" all the time. 

Does that make sense?  Not sure it does, but what I am trying to say is that I am so tightly wound... I broke down.  He is home now, and will sleep all day tomorrow until our guests arrive... then go to work on Sunday night.  I sat down on my bed, and just started crying.  I swear it is not that time of the month!!!

lol- guess I never realized how much I appreciated him and how much I need that regular schedule.  It will be another 2 weeks at least.

Deep Breath... ok - all better.... Thanks for letting me write out my tears.

We have a standing deal in our family that if the kids find a unicorn, they can keep it.  This "deal" came about when the girls were discussing pets.  They all decided on their own that a unicorn suited our family well.  Of course in order to get approval they brought it up to daddy.  My husband started laughing and said "if you find a unicorn- we can keep it."

Every once in awhile the girls will remember this deal and go outside "hunting" for a unicorn.  I have thought about bursting their bubble and telling them that there is no such thing.  Then I think- why?  If their imagination can conjure princesses, unicorns, and mountains out of a backyard and woods... why not encourage it?

Soon enough their reality will become less imaginative, but for now my job is to encourage them in this and enhance their learning through everyday opportunities.

 What do you think- is it ok to let them live in this fairy tale world?  What about letting them believe in santa or the tooth fairy?

Last night as I was going downstairs to hit the sack, my little 4 year old came out in a groggy state.

She said that she couldn't sleep (when I know that she has been sleeping for hours).  I told her to go back to her bed because I was going to bed too. 

She exclaimed: "But mom can I sleep with you?" "no- go get in your own bed," I said.  "But mom your bed is the best bed to get princess dreams"

I laughed and got her back in her bed... but it got me thinking.  Do you remember when you had your best sleep in mom's bed?  Remember the security of jumping into your mom and dad's bed and sleeping so soundly?

I guess the focus of getting "princess dreams" has changed for me.  Now, if I get to sleep, I am happy- dreams... what dreams? Remember when life was so simple and ensuring that your dreams were happy was important?

Ok, my daughter had a birthday party to go to at Pump It Up! The best part about the party is that I did not have to attend.  I know this may sound selfish, but a room full of four-year-olds and mothers who are trying to "make nice" because our kids go to the same pre-school seems like not a very fun time.

Don't get me wrong, I will be polite and go to any event put on by the other pre-school moms.  However, I do know that our kids will probrobly not be "best friends for life".  Let's face it, my daughter will be going to kindergarten next year and those are the friends that she might keep for a couple of years. I went through alot of work to have one play-date last year with a child from my oldest daughter's pre-school and we have never seen her again.

Ok, so on Friday we went to get this little boy a gift.  Of course I do not know this family and do not know what is expected for gift-giving because this is only the second "friend" birthday that my kids have had.  So, I spend 15$ and find a remote control bulldozer. Then, I hear from the mother saying that he likes StarWars. 

Then on Saturday, I go back to toys-r-us and we pick out some lightsabers.  This time we spent over 20$.  Remember again, I do not know this family and am not really sure if 20$ is enough for a gift etc.

Ok- Sunday is the Pump-it-Up party. I drop her off and leave to do some much needed errands.  When I come back, the dad is taking all the presents in two garbage bags out to the car. 

"They wanted to play longer, so we did not open presents."

Hmmm... now I understand that this venue must cost alot of money, and I know that four year olds like to play and we all don't want to stop their fun.  But I seem to remember only parts of the birthday parties that I went to when I was little, and most of those memories were of the opening of the gifts.

I have never been to a child's birthday party that did not include opening gifts.  Is this weird or am I just not up on the times?

I just spent two shopping trips to find the "perfect" gift, and he will open it at home?

Has anyone else dealt with this?

Why can't we just be happy with the hair that we were given?

 The other day, my daughter was sitting at the kitchen table about to have a snack.  I was in the next room, so I could hear her but she was unaware of my presence. She closed her eyes and folded her hands in her lap. 

"God please can you give me straight hair?  I don't like cury hair anymore. Amen. "

This was all she said and she continued to eat her snack.

I thought it was darling, yet I am puzzled by the fact that we are never satisfied with the hair that we are given.  She has the most beautiful ringlets.  Most people would die to have her hair, and yet here she is praying for something different.

I know that as a four year old, her tastes will change from day to day... but it got me thinking.

There are hair-dyes, straighteners, curlers, perms... you name it... yet are we ever really happy with our hair? 

It seems that on the humid days, our hair does whatever it wants.  On the dry days it is full of static.

Oh well- guess that is the lot ehh?

I have naturally red/curly hair.  And I spent most of my high-school years changing the texture and never being satisfied with the red.  I have come to terms with the color and I do not color it anymore.  I discovered the curls only after my fourth child (I was too tired to style it). 
This is a new hair time for me, and I am trying to appreciate the curls as well.

What do you think?  Did you get the short end of the hair stick?